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IAC Visits ER Miami

Posted: Wed Nov 11, 2015 9:56 pm
by Amskeptic
Had a lovely day with Jivermo (a Prince Amongst Scoundrels). But this post is about the poisonous little bug.

As I quaffed the last of the coffee in the cup, I felt a bizarre little chunk pass my lips. I decided to swallow it rather than spray all over carpet, customer, or kute kidlet.

A stab (felt like a pin going down sideways) caught my throat, and did not clear out. I ignored Jivermo and his wife's recommendation to down some Benadryl and escaped to the wild woods of Route 1 to die alone in Wednesday evening traffic. The pain was exactly at the tongue's root which is also the top of the epiglottis. At first, I thought I could manage it. At 24th Street, I thought my windpipe was in danger of getting swollen shut. It became excruciating to swallow. Finally, I could not swallow and the smoker's lung mucous was causing me to choke. Breathing became more difficult. Called my MD sister in Brookline MA who suggested anaphylaxis and get myself the emergency room NOW. Called and left a message with Jivermo that I might need to plan a disposition of Chloe.

Guy at the front desk was a security officer type.
"$it down, a doctor will be with you $hortly."
After fifteen minutes, I went up and said that I was losing my ability to breathe, it might be an allergic reaction, I just want a shot of epinephrine, and I will be on my way.
A nurse ushered me to the inspection bay and wired me up to the diagnostics.
133/82/79/99 said the numbers:
systolic/diastolic/rate/oxygen saturation.
Doctor came in and asked about drugs, medications, symptoms.
I was, at this point, beginning to wheeze and most definitely was drooling as my windpipe constricted and the mucous/saliva backed up.
Then I sat for an hour desperately avoiding the swallow reflex and diving for the sink to drool more..
Then I was told by the nurse that everything looks fine so swallow these pills.
"Ever been karate-chopped across your throat cartilage?" I asked her, that is what it feels like.
I could not swallow the pills. She chucked them in when she asked me to say "aaaaaaah".
Nurse took off while I coughed and hooted, and drooled and spit into the sink and played with the monitor. First I accidentally almost blew apart the blood pressure cuff. I did a lousy job of re-wrapping it over my arm and it separated at the velcro right in the middle of the test. It swelled up alarmingly. The blood pressure tester circuitry must have been worried too.
"This arm is awfully scrawny," thought the cuff, "and his blood pressure is non-existent."
Then I played with the blood pressure reading by applying tourniquet pressure to my arm above the cuff. I wanted to actually witness me flat-line on the monitor, then I wondered if a code blue might get thrown and turn on all those red warning lights, but nobody in the hospital was informed of my "heart failure" so I released my tourniquet and came back to life.
I cannot begin to describe this weird pain in my epiglottis, really, just like a chop to your throat cartilage. Imagine your swallow reflex jamming before it gets to the top and it kicks your gag reflex.

Got bored and tore off the various monitor fittings and walked out into the hall. The "administrator", a boy really, told me that he would send me the bill.
So . . . what do you think they will charge me for two hours of sitting on a table?

The doctor nabbed me in the hall and threatened me with death if I left.
"You are not out of the woods if this is an emergency."
"Oh, I knew it wasn't an emergency when you left and did not come back."
"We'd still like to observe you."
"You never did observe me why would you now?"
"We need you to si........."
" .......... sign the Against Medical Advice form?" Sure.


So here I am, against medical advice, still cannot swallow. I have better remedies here in the car than anything they gave me. I am gargling the gold oral rinse every time I need to swallow. Will let you know if I survive the night here, camped outside Mercy Hospital.
Colin

Re: IAC Visits ER Miami

Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2015 4:15 am
by zabo
I hope you are still alive.
I cant offer much in the way of medical advice but can relate to your frustration in the er. .

I too have done the walk out. It made me feel like I was in an episode of Curb your Enthusiasm.

I'm sure the bill will be ridiculous.
Next time take the benadryl.

Re: IAC Visits ER Miami

Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2015 4:49 am
by Jivermo
Damn! This is a lousy finish to a crazy South Florida Itinerant 2015 wrap-up. I'm certain that it was a bee that you swallowed; it must have stung you as it went down. Please let us know how you are doing this morning. Freakin' Emergency Rooms!

Re: IAC Visits ER Miami

Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2015 10:27 am
by Ronin10
Scary stuff. Do keep us posted and I hope it all passes with minimal issues.

Re: IAC Visits ER Miami

Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2015 12:06 pm
by Amskeptic
Yeah, well, I guess I will have to pay the bill because I didn't die last night.
I finally felt like I could sleep without drowning in my own mucous at 4:00AM.
Woke up at 7:30AM It's Another Great Day Of Breathing! Look! I can swallow!

Went to breakfast with VWTreasure and his wife and showed off my ability to swallow without drooling.
Now heading north with a new appreciation of epiglottal engineering.

Hork up a gob of broncheal mucous and swallow, a Toast to Life!
Colin :geek:

Re: IAC Visits ER Miami

Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2015 2:41 pm
by Jivermo
Image

Re: IAC Visits ER Miami

Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2015 2:56 pm
by asiab3
Image

Re: IAC Visits ER Miami

Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2015 3:17 pm
by Amskeptic
As soon as I get to the drawing board, Jivermo, as SOON as I get to the drawing board . . . I am treating you to a Kustom Keurig Koffee Kit/Kup™ coffee dispensing system that will be guaranteed to never again spring a surprise.

It seems like long ago that I was fighting to swallow and/or breathe, but it is just coming up to 24 hours ago.
ColinConkingOutInPortStLucie

Re: IAC Visits ER Miami

Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2015 10:22 pm
by airkooledchris
Amskeptic wrote:Yeah, well, I guess I will have to pay the bill because I didn't die last night.
I finally felt like I could sleep without drowning in my own mucous at 4:00AM.
Woke up at 7:30AM It's Another Great Day Of Breathing! Look! I can swallow!

Went to breakfast with VWTreasure and his wife and showed off my ability to swallow without drooling.
Now heading north with a new appreciation of epiglottal engineering.

Hork up a gob of broncheal mucous and swallow, a Toast to Life!
Colin :geek:

I had a nearly identical experience when I was living in San Francisco. When the bill arrived, I took out my biggest blackest Sharpie and wrote about my experience (made it VERY short.)

After that I wrote huge numbered directions on how, if they expect me to pay this bill, the precise procedure required to roll that bill up tightly and cram it into their ass.

About a month later I received a notice that my bill had been waived. :cheers:

Re: IAC Visits ER Miami

Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 7:15 am
by Amskeptic
airkooledchris wrote: I had a nearly identical experience when I was living in San Francisco. When the bill arrived, I took out my biggest blackest Sharpie and wrote about my experience (made it VERY short.)

After that I wrote huge numbered directions on how, if they expect me to pay this bill, the precise procedure required to roll that bill up tightly and cram it into their ass.

About a month later I received a notice that my bill had been waived. :cheers:
Your recommendations have been taken into consideration. I shall advise you all the second that bill comes across my desk . . . :cherry:

Re: IAC Visits ER Miami

Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 2:25 pm
by jackstar
Colin,
I don't know what looks worse, you or that thing you are driving. God, how you have fallen. Stop by up here and I will try to either put it back together for you or give it a decent burial.

Jack

Re: IAC Visits ER Miami

Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 5:04 pm
by Jivermo
Hey! And it's not a Thing. It's a '78 Westy Bahamian Tour Bus.

Re: IAC Visits ER Miami

Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 5:30 pm
by Amskeptic
Jivermo wrote:Hey! And it's not a Thing. It's a '78 Westy Bahamian Tour Bus.
Can you believe the nerve of those podunk Pensacola Lawyers trying to act stuck-up? My God, they see a driver obviously the very picture of excellent health on a lovely drive in the gorgeous sophisticated metropolis of Miami with the refreshing breeze blowing through a magnificently running late model Westy in the end stages of a superb restoration, and they just lose their sight, I tell ya.

Tell you what, I am going to Pensacola right now to show that lawyer a Thing (or two) . . . .
Colin
(like this colander, aka "battery tray")

Image

Re: IAC Visits ER Miami

Posted: Thu Dec 31, 2015 4:54 pm
by Amskeptic
Got the hospital bull . . . $2,450.00 for sitting around playing with the monitor and checking myself out AMA (against medical advice) within two hours.

I asked for an itemized bill. Will let you know the breakdown (both personal and services) when I get it. . . .
Colin
(I disqualified myself for the charity consideration because they did not receive the filled-out application with the required seven days of admittance. I spelled out that their postmark was three days into the seven, it was mailed to New York, and I had to have it mailed down here to Atlanta. Then I snarkily reminded them that they allow themselves up to three weeks to inform me of their decision)

Re: IAC Visits ER Miami

Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2016 12:54 pm
by Sylvester
VWBusrepairman wrote:I'm in Virginia and was hoping to meet some VA members, but time isn't going to permit...wasn't Sylvester from this area?

Happy New Year!
Good grief VWBusrepairman lives! I thought you dropped off the earth years ago! No I am not in Virginia I am in Atlanta. Good to see you are alive and kicking still!