Welcome To The 2012 Itinerary

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Amskeptic
IAC "Help Desk"
IAC "Help Desk"
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Welcome To The 2012 Itinerary

Post by Amskeptic » Tue Jan 17, 2012 12:28 am

I am a travelling consultant. I am here to convince you that you are the best person to maintain and repair your classic VW. The reasons for doing your own maintenance and repair are numerous. You, in your nervous tentative attentiveness, are more likely to do excellent work than many of the mechanics you may have utilized. I have been regaled by numerous recent stories that point to the ever greater need for us to be alert and thorough with our work, and to inspect the available parts for our chariots with a trained skeptical eye.

My job runs deeper than the surface of our day. I will be stirring up the sediment of your searching mind before the first cup of coffee is poured. I pepper you with questions to help you begin to see cause and effect. As I offer you the concepts of how your VW does its job, I will also keep forgetting to complete my sentences ... you can. I will fail to immediately answer those questions that you are supposed to figure out until you make an effort to answer your own question. Cause and Effect is a key logic tool.

The day begins at 9:00AM sharp with a quick review of your list. We will modify it at will. Valve adjustment will generally be the first operation performed on your car so what the heck, make sure you have a spare set of valve cover gaskets.

As soon as possible, we will conduct a diagnostic test drive/driving lesson. Keep your ego at home. There are very few drivers out there who are capable of reducing wear and tear to the minimum that is demanded. Driving an old VW nicely is an art, and when you get good at it, you will be a better person too. Yes. . . . . you will.

If, in my estimation, you will be better served by a buffet menu of going through your vehicle, you WILL gladly follow even as you discreetly tuck your highly hopeful list back in your pocket. I promise only that any detour will be a better value.

Paper towels are good. Forget shop towels, they are $ucky linty toilet paper these days. Cheap paper towels are perfectly OK, they seem to shed fewer soft shreds of lint. GumOut carb spray used to be best ... until this latest VOC (volatile organic compound) reducing formula hit the shelves, now you are on your own. Just make sure it is SPRAY for carburetors, not parts cleaner not brake cleaner. Rustle up an under-engine pan that we can use as a rinse trap. Cookie sheets will work in a pinch, so have the house chef make the cookies the night before.

Lunch is usually just an afterthought, let's make it childhood simple if you have to recharge your flagging energy stores.

Our usual stop time is 5:00PM, followed by clean-up, test drive and the all-important Fill Out The Invoice Correctly Review (using your latest diagnostic mechanical capabilities) that will take us to 6:00PM. Many spouses have been pleasantly surprised at the new sound of a fast flowing technical exchange that we conduct during the invoice review.

If we are excited and engaged in our project, let's negotiate evening work past the usual stop time. Our latest appointment on record was 5:45AM the next morning. This year, we have to charge hourly after 6:00PM. This is so you won't be stricken with guilt, and I will be able to remain courteous and cheerful as we both help keep my finances solvent. If we go past 6:00PM in a substantial mechanical way, you will cough up $44.00/hr and we will both strive to be disciplined and focused.

Your balance will be $220.00 payable at the end of the appointment.

We will correspond only via PM here, through the winter/spring. Your user name and city/state will show up on the 2012 Itinerary with our agreed-upon date and a red "D" when your $220.00 deposit has posted. We will adjust appointments through late spring as I synchronize everybody.

I have come to love offering this unique service, but have also discovered through stunned encounters with my finances, that we must also be committed to our contracts. I no longer have the cushion of my savings account to bridge the winter drawing board season. Painfully, I must decline offering half day appointments this year UNLESS you find another customer within 150 miles who can set up their own appointment within two days of your appointment.
Colin

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hambone
Post-Industrial Non-Secular Mennonite
Location: Portland, Ore.
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Re: Welcome To The 2012 Itinerary

Post by hambone » Tue Jan 17, 2012 9:37 am

Godspeed and good luck. We're all swimming in this pickle barrel together.
umOut carb spray used to be best ... until this latest VOC (volatile organic compound) reducing formula hit the shelves
I didn't hear of this...but I have noticed Gumout hasn't had the same punch as it used to. The cheap paint stripping store brands are pretty powerful, maybe it's time to diversify our carb cleaner stock/usage, use the hi octane stuff for the really greasy mess.
I only bring this up in this thread because carb cleaner is such a vital part of the repair arsenal, and I know you depend on it greatly for your itinerary too.
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Amskeptic
IAC "Help Desk"
IAC "Help Desk"
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Re: Welcome To The 2012 Itinerary

Post by Amskeptic » Sat Mar 24, 2012 8:52 am

Welcome to the Eight Week Countdown where we need to get the deposits in.
We have more requests than slots in some of the bottleneck areas.
I need your commitment before I can tell anyone with any certainty that there is no opening.
Colin
BobD - 1978 Bus . . . . . . . . . . . 112,660 miles
Chloe - 1970 bus . . . . . . . . . . . 206,845 miles
Naranja - 1977 Westfalia . . . . . 112,885 miles
Pluck - 1973 Squareback . . . . . . 55,570 miles
Alexus - 1991 Lexus LS400 . . . 78,899 miles

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