This Will Not Do

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hippiewannabe
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Re: This Will Not Do

Post by hippiewannabe » Sat Jul 16, 2011 8:31 pm

Having been involved in the execution of a few estates, I can emphatically state that the key to getting through the process is to remember stuff is just stuff. Don't invest emotions and memories in stuff; simplify things to basic commercial transactions, and get it done. And one of the foundations of commercial transactions is no contract is binding until there is a meeting of the minds, and money has changed hands. Bookwus' Spouse and Colin had discussions, but they clearly didn't have a mutual understanding, even if Colin thought they did, and no deposit was given. Someone else came in with a deal she liked better and she took it. No tears, no anger, just move on. It's just stuff.
When thousands of people believe a made-up story for a month, we call it fake news. When a billion people believe a made-up story for a thousand years, we call it a religion.

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Re: This Will Not Do

Post by Lanval » Sat Jul 16, 2011 10:00 pm

hippiewannabe wrote:Having been involved in the execution of a few estates, I can emphatically state that the key to getting through the process is to remember stuff is just stuff. Don't invest emotions and memories in stuff; simplify things to basic commercial transactions, and get it done. And one of the foundations of commercial transactions is no contract is binding until there is a meeting of the minds, and money has changed hands. Bookwus' Spouse and Colin had discussions, but they clearly didn't have a mutual understanding, even if Colin thought they did, and no deposit was given. Someone else came in with a deal she liked better and she took it. No tears, no anger, just move on. It's just stuff.
A commendable reminder, but I think you've misread Colin here; it's not the vehicle that matters, but the lost time and effort, or so I read his post. I do agree about the misunderstanding though, and the uselessness of anxiousness thereat.

Mike

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Amskeptic
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Re: This Will Not Do

Post by Amskeptic » Sat Jul 16, 2011 10:10 pm

Oregon72 wrote: I’m glad Wayne has asked for my side of the story.
Me too.
Oregon72 wrote: In your discussion with Carolyn, you had told Carolyn there were many factors involved in you being able to make the purchase or not make the purchase.
Carolyn was feeling as though the burden of a complicated transaction with someone she had little prior history or relationship with was more than she was willing to accept. Additionally, Carolyn had told me she sent you an email mid-week and had received no response.
This itinerant life. I can see that she did not register that I was going to Sequim WA (and White Salmon before I rescheduled). The maybe was only in regards to the Beetle which needs work performed. I had made an offer on both cars, and I told her, I am not buying these sight unseen when accident damage is involved.
Oregon72 wrote: Carolyn has wanted the bus gone since March – it has been a sore spot for her. Being married myself, I can see how walking out the front door and seeing the Duck has been a constant reminder to Carolyn of the fact that her husband of nearly 40 years is no longer there – that would be very tough.
I agree. The emails from her daughter "take your time, my mom and I are in no hurry" dated April 19th where I responded that I would be out here at the end of June, are perhaps why I thought there was an unusual change of heart.
Oregon72 wrote:email from you:
Amskeptic wrote: Well, there you go.
Colin
I interpreted your email response that “Well, there you go” as if to say what Carolyn wants was the most important thing and to go ahead and move forward.
I can now understand that you may have read it thusly. I am embarrassed to have to tell you it was thick with the worst sort of desolate sarcasm.
Oregon72 wrote:It is just my opinion, but it seems odd to not say even one thing in your email response and then attempt to nail me up in this way after the fact.
I agree, but I will up you one "odd" for one "crybaby tantrum".
Oregon72 wrote: So this really is nothing that can’t be corrected and remedied and one good thing is that Carolyn’s anxiety has been relieved. She wanted to be cleared of the Duck in a simple and straight forward manner. As of yesterday evening, the bus is now here and parked – ready, willing, and able to serve just as Mike had always kept it. I want this bus in your hand's before you head South. I can deliver the bus to you anywhere in the Portland Metro area this weekend and you can pay me with a cashier’s check. The lost title has been requested and will be arriving in the mail to me shortly from the DMV at which time I will promptly send it on to be waiting for you at the address of your choice.
That is the crux of the it. I could see that she did not want to deal with the details, whereupon I interpreted it as she "suddenly" did not want to deal with me.
Oregon72 wrote:
We are good people here – Mike knew that to be true and he was a genius.
I cannot describe the relief, and I appreciate your measured response. It may take a minute for me to catch my breath, release the fury, settle down, have a day with misszora (who needs to respond to my PM/email, misszora?).

If you can PM me a phone number to reach you at tomorrow Sunday?
Shall we take down this thread . . . or keep it up? Your call.
Thank-you, Troy.
Colin
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jonyem
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Re: This Will Not Do

Post by jonyem » Sat Jul 16, 2011 10:18 pm

I say keep it, there's a great lesson here.
And since we never stop learning...
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Re: This Will Not Do

Post by Lanval » Sat Jul 16, 2011 10:22 pm

jonyem wrote:I say keep it, there's a great lesson here.
And since we never stop learning...
"there are no masters, only students along a path..."

Morihei Ueshiba

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sped372
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Re: This Will Not Do

Post by sped372 » Sun Jul 17, 2011 6:58 am

Glad to see this taking a turn for the better. It's always amazed me how quickly a misunderstanding can escalate.
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brotha bran
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Re: This Will Not Do

Post by brotha bran » Sun Jul 17, 2011 3:47 pm

sped372 wrote: It's always amazed me how quickly a misunderstanding can escalate.
Especially when communication via the internet is involved. Emotions and intentions are all too easily lost without hearing another's voice.

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JLT
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Re: This Will Not Do

Post by JLT » Sun Jul 17, 2011 3:53 pm

I'm glad that this situation is resolving itself rationally, which proves that rational, caring people can usually find a way to understanding.

That said, the only thing I can add is that there is no better argument for putting your wished down IN WRITING, usually via a legal will. Even with rational people acting with the best of intentions, confusion can happen after we pass on, as this episode demonstrates so vividly. The best thing you can do for your survivors is to spare them from this sort of foo.
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aopisa
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Re: This Will Not Do

Post by aopisa » Sun Jul 17, 2011 7:01 pm

It is very easy to be carried away by our misperceptions. If you take the time to be aware of it you will see that we do it many times every day, mostly on a small scale. I was guilty of it from the moment I read Colin's first post.

Maybe that person that cut me off was late for work and may lose their job. Perhaps they were preoccupied with something they wish they hadn't said to their spouse that morning. Maybe they weren't deliberately trying to make me angry.

Still, I think that even in this modern age, this conflict would have been avoided if the method of communication was face to face or at the very least voice to voice. Back and forth emails or PM's stifles real discussion and leaves the door open for a lot of misperception to take over.
1977 Westy 2.0L F.I.

Flow with whatever may happen and let your mind be free. Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing. This is the ultimate. - Chuang Tzu

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airkooledchris
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Re: This Will Not Do

Post by airkooledchris » Sun Jul 17, 2011 7:29 pm

Greetings Colin,
Carolyn has made it clear that she is ready for action with regard to Mike's bus. Carolyn has let me know that it is her preference to sell the bus to me.
Troy
Unless that is an edited quote with a lot of other details missing, I think it was pretty wide open for misinterpretation.
you could damn near expect one to misunderstand that regardless of their intention.

the more details the better when dealing in internet communique, lest you want people to make assumptions.
1979 California Transporter

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Oregon72
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Re: This Will Not Do

Post by Oregon72 » Sun Jul 17, 2011 10:56 pm

You are right Chris.

Colin and I spoke on the phone earlier today - both of us relieved and humbled to see the good heart in one another. And not to mention the best part - the Duck will be owned by Colin as of tomorrow evening - at the lab of all places. :drinkers:
-'72 Westy-

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hambone
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Re: This Will Not Do

Post by hambone » Sun Jul 17, 2011 11:01 pm

Man what a weirdass story but I'm glad it came off clean. You guys are both the straightest-shooters I know, how weird for both of you to get involved in this twisted tale.
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Gypsie
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Re: This Will Not Do

Post by Gypsie » Mon Jul 18, 2011 12:38 am

jeeminy christmas...go out of town for a few days and all hell breaks loose.


Glad it is being worked out. I will be at the Lab to tip the conciliatory suds with you both.

Colin, I am glad you will be able to make it work.

Troy, you are a gentleman and a scholar.

I am glad to call you both friend.
So it all started when I wanted to get better gas mileage....

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RSorak 71Westy
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Re: This Will Not Do

Post by RSorak 71Westy » Mon Jul 18, 2011 7:02 am

I'm glad this worked out because I'm loving the fact of a type 1 bus tour.....
Take care,
Rick
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tristessa
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Re: This Will Not Do

Post by tristessa » Mon Jul 18, 2011 7:05 am

hambone wrote:how weird for both of you to get involved in this twisted tale.
On the one hand yes, on the other hand .. eh, it's the Internet. Misunderstandings and misinterpretations happen all. the. time. in the course of online communication.
Gypsie wrote:.go out of town for a few days and all hell breaks loose.
That'll learn ya. :cyclopsani:
Remember, only YOU can prevent narcissism!

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