Canada and Canadians
- glasseye
- IAC Addict!
- Location: Kootenays, BC
- Status: Offline
Canada and Canadians
I found this on the web. I can't justify it, nor can I validate most of it. I did laugh a few times, though. Maybe you can, too.
I AM CANADIAN
So, what to Canadians have to be proud of?
1. Smarties
2. Crispy Crunch & Coffee Crisp
3. The size of our football fields and one less down
4. Baseball is Canadian
5. Lacrosse is Canadian
6. Hockey is Canadian
7. Basketball is Canadian
8. Apple Pie is Canadian
9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers' ass
10. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts ass
11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back...past their 'White House'. Then we burned it...and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon MaKenzie King who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied...Go figure..
12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.
13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone. anywhere. EVER.
14. Our civil war was fought in a bar and it lasted a little over an hour.
15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing... but showed up just in time to get caught.
16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.
17. The Hudson's Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the worlds oldest company.
18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.
19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.
20. We don't marry our kin-folk.
21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.
22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.
23. A Canadian invented Superman.
24. We have coloured money.
25. Our beer advertisments kick ass
BUT MOST IMPORTANT!
26. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on. OOOoohhhhh Canada!!
oh yeah... and our elections only take one day and are counted by hand.
I AM CANADIAN
So, what to Canadians have to be proud of?
1. Smarties
2. Crispy Crunch & Coffee Crisp
3. The size of our football fields and one less down
4. Baseball is Canadian
5. Lacrosse is Canadian
6. Hockey is Canadian
7. Basketball is Canadian
8. Apple Pie is Canadian
9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers' ass
10. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts ass
11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back...past their 'White House'. Then we burned it...and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon MaKenzie King who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied...Go figure..
12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.
13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone. anywhere. EVER.
14. Our civil war was fought in a bar and it lasted a little over an hour.
15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing... but showed up just in time to get caught.
16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.
17. The Hudson's Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the worlds oldest company.
18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.
19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.
20. We don't marry our kin-folk.
21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.
22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.
23. A Canadian invented Superman.
24. We have coloured money.
25. Our beer advertisments kick ass
BUT MOST IMPORTANT!
26. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on. OOOoohhhhh Canada!!
oh yeah... and our elections only take one day and are counted by hand.
"This war will pay for itself."
Paul Wolfowitz, speaking of Iraq.
Paul Wolfowitz, speaking of Iraq.
- drewniverse
- I'm New!
- Location: Spring Valley, CA
- Contact:
- Status: Offline
Re: Canada and Canadians
For real? They make the handles that large for that reason?
1982 VW Vanagon Westfalia w/ 2.0L and manual transmission
Upgrades : 80watt Sharp solar panel and 2 deep cycle batteries -- 2000/4000w Peak Inverter -- Pioneer DVD/mp3/ipod deck and 10" screen
- ruckman101
- Lord God King Bwana
- Location: Up next to a volcano.
- Contact:
- Status: Offline
Re: Canada and Canadians
#16, lol
And of course #26. It only makes sense, eh?
Thanks glasseye
neal
And of course #26. It only makes sense, eh?
Thanks glasseye
neal
The slipper has no teeth.
-
- IAC Addict!
- Status: Offline
Re: Canada and Canadians
I sorta like 11 ana 14
Is it all true?
Is it all true?
-
- IAC Addict!
- Status: Offline
Re: Canada and Canadians
I'm not going to fact check all of them, but no, baseball isn't Canadian.
It's early origins (very early) are in English folk games of the type people played before the discovery of the Americas.
The rules we have today derive from the Knickerbocker Rules first written around 1845 in New York. Presumably the game was already being played (hence it's not an originary document) but there's no indication that the game as it's described is in any way Canadian.
Best,
Mike
Seems like the list should include most of Hollywood ~ the list of comedic actors who are Canadian reads like a "who's who" of Hollywood comedy for the last 30 years.
It's early origins (very early) are in English folk games of the type people played before the discovery of the Americas.
The rules we have today derive from the Knickerbocker Rules first written around 1845 in New York. Presumably the game was already being played (hence it's not an originary document) but there's no indication that the game as it's described is in any way Canadian.
Best,
Mike
Seems like the list should include most of Hollywood ~ the list of comedic actors who are Canadian reads like a "who's who" of Hollywood comedy for the last 30 years.
- Velokid1
- IAC Addict!
- Status: Offline
Re: Canada and Canadians
First, I love Canada. The Pre-Harper version, anyway. Hopefully we'll see that version again.
(Actually, I kind of wonder if it can't be argued that plaid technically originated with the Massai people. I also wonder if I spelled that correctly.)
If Mr Dress-Up is anything like Mr. Rogers, I have a hunch that kicking isn't what you saw him doing to Mr. Rogers' behind.9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers' ass
OK. Big fan of Tim Hortons here but... no way it even comes close to Dunkin Donuts. One man's opinion, but I do know junkfood.10. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts ass
That's weak! Trying to hijack plaid from Scotland!16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.
(Actually, I kind of wonder if it can't be argued that plaid technically originated with the Massai people. I also wonder if I spelled that correctly.)
Velcro? Are you sure? If you guys really did invent velcro, you win. The modern world is held together by velcro. So is the flap on my lunchbox. Vital.21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.
This one contradicts #1. I thought you said you were all Smarties.22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.
Oh yeah? Well, Americans are aware of green being a color. One strike against Canada, for failure to teach colors in elementary school.24. We have coloured money.
If your beer advertisements have Mr. Dress-Up in them, I don't think it's kicking ass that's going on.25. Our beer advertisments kick ass.
- glasseye
- IAC Addict!
- Location: Kootenays, BC
- Status: Offline
Re: Canada and Canadians
Please do. I have no idea about many of them. I do know that #11 is true. At least, they taught us that in school. : )Lanval wrote:I'm not going to fact check all of them,
Of course our beer case handles are mitt-friendly! But only in winter. In summer, they change them all make it easier to carry three at once. : )
One item that I would add to the list is:
Our Rocky mountains kick USA Rocky Mountains asses, like, TOTALLY, ay?
"This war will pay for itself."
Paul Wolfowitz, speaking of Iraq.
Paul Wolfowitz, speaking of Iraq.
- Velokid1
- IAC Addict!
- Status: Offline
Re: Canada and Canadians
The Canuckian Rockies definitely do beat the Merican Rockies. And that's saying a lot because our Rockies kick some serious Mr Dress-Up ASS.
- Amskeptic
- IAC "Help Desk"
- Status: Offline
Re: Canada and Canadians
Like, totally? you Canadians are so like hijacking our teenage girl lingo, like FAILLOSERS?glasseye wrote:
Our Rocky mountains kick USA Rocky Mountains asses, like, TOTALLY, ay?
And beautiful hot expansive USA deserts can totally kick? like your Canadian sandboxes at your local pond in the local picket fenced parks, so yippee yi yay?
Colin
BobD - 78 Bus . . . 112,730 miles
Chloe - 70 bus . . . 217,593 miles
Naranja - 77 Westy . . . 142,970 miles
Pluck - 1973 Squareback . . . . . . 55,600 miles
Alexus - 91 Lexus LS400 . . . 96,675 miles
Chloe - 70 bus . . . 217,593 miles
Naranja - 77 Westy . . . 142,970 miles
Pluck - 1973 Squareback . . . . . . 55,600 miles
Alexus - 91 Lexus LS400 . . . 96,675 miles
-
- IAC Addict!
- Status: Offline
Re: Canada and Canadians
glasseye wrote: I do know that #11 is true. At least, they taught us that in school. : )
?
YES, the one I like is true.
Oh wait, they taught you that in school.
-
- IAC Addict!
- Status: Offline
Re: Canada and Canadians
Steve you cracked me up with that.steve74baywin wrote:glasseye wrote: I do know that #11 is true. At least, they taught us that in school. : )
?
YES, the one I like is true.
Oh wait, they taught you that in school.
- hambone
- Post-Industrial Non-Secular Mennonite
- Location: Portland, Ore.
- Status: Offline
Re: Canada and Canadians
Take off ya hosers.
http://greencascadia.blogspot.com
http://pdxvolksfolks.blogspot.com
it balances on your head just like a mattress balances on a bottle of wine
your brand new leopard skin pillbox hat
http://pdxvolksfolks.blogspot.com
it balances on your head just like a mattress balances on a bottle of wine
your brand new leopard skin pillbox hat
- grandfatherjim
- Addicted!
- Location: near Ottawa Canada
- Status: Offline
Re: Canada and Canadians
Velcro? Are you sure? If you guys really did invent velcro, you win. The modern world is held together by velcro. So is the flap on my lunchbox. Vital.21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.
Yes - my father, way back, worked for a company in Montreal that wholesaled sewing notions. This guy came to them asking if they would sell his new invention, Velcro, but they didn't see any practical use for it so declined.
- glasseye
- IAC Addict!
- Location: Kootenays, BC
- Status: Offline
Re: Canada and Canadians
Just trying to communicate in language you'll understand, pal.Amskeptic wrote:Like, totally? you Canadians are so like hijacking our teenage girl lingo, like FAILLOSERS?glasseye wrote:
Our Rocky mountains kick USA Rocky Mountains asses, like, TOTALLY, ay?
:
As for your deserts: No contest.
Your desserts? Not so much.
"This war will pay for itself."
Paul Wolfowitz, speaking of Iraq.
Paul Wolfowitz, speaking of Iraq.
- grandfatherjim
- Addicted!
- Location: near Ottawa Canada
- Status: Offline
Re: Canada and Canadians
Shreddies!
Ekhart Tolle!
The Robertson screwdriver!
Ekhart Tolle!
The Robertson screwdriver!