Welcome To The 2017 Itinerary

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Amskeptic
IAC "Help Desk"
IAC "Help Desk"
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Welcome To The 2017 Itinerary

Post by Amskeptic » Wed Feb 01, 2017 8:33 am

Welcome to Itinerant Air-Cooled's fifteenth lap of America to help you keep your air-cooled VW alive.

THE WHY
Consider this visit as an investment rather than an "expense". After fifty eight years of life on Earth, I remain convinced that the best mechanic to work on your beloved Volkswagen is you. Your terror and anxiety are channeled effectively towards careful, clean, thorough work, and the flood of relief when you proudly drive down the road as the master caretaker of an appreciating investment is better than any drug high.

Another advantage of the IAC day that you are the cheapest option for any maintenance and repair that may be needed. As you become familiar with your VW, you are much more likely to do the work required in a timely fashion without putting off the little things that can turn into big ($$) things.

THE WHAT
Parts needed are your sole responsibility. We can guess mightily as to what you may need, and we will, but surprises come up all the time. You may be disappointed that the lack of a part stops us dead in our tracks. I remain in a good humor, however (there are always more projects to dive into), because it is a pleasure to hand off the final reassembly to you. That is our goal, remember?

THE WHERE
Your work environment needs to be clean and organized. This is your excuse to have a full day off from yard work or shopping or schlepping the kids before our appointment date (heck take two, it's on me). Please have paper towels, a suitable solvent/oil drain container, a couple of cans of GumOut carb spray (that's GumOut, not Berrymans or ChemTool or the other formulations that strip paint) still available at WalMart for $2.97 a can or $4.99 at Advance or whatever. Try to rustle up a container of Valvoline DuraBlend semi-synthetic molybdenum disulfide grease. It is the best all-purpose grease that can meet any need we have. If you are in a rain-drenched climate, please try to have a serious weather-proof alternative available. Make a beautiful new friendship with a hitherto unknown neighbor, discover your skills with lean-to carpentry and tarp, whatever it takes. This will help us get to work. I do not do front wheel bearings in the rain, and you will be the sole valve adjustment mechanic if it is SNOWING, just ask whc03grady.

THE WHEN
We begin at 9:00AM coffee, paper, pen. We will then tackle the cold-required items like valve adjustments, retorques, and choke checks. If you are a neophyte, let's do entire tune-up together. If you are a repeat old hand IAC Graduate Master Mechanic, we will dive into the project at hand.

Lunch is your responsibility. If you need it, make sure you carve out a moment. Chances are, I will make it a working lunch with more diagrams for your future reference.
Work must wind down by 6:00PM. Final Invoice/Final Exam needs to be wrapped no later than 7:00PM.

THE HOW MUCH
As per theSamba classified ad:
Nationwide Air-Cooled VW Consultant
Price : $310 for a 4.5 hr Half Day : $590 Full Day

You will have paid your $295.00 ($155.00 half day) deposit if I am standing at your door at 9:00AM.

I will not be leaving your door at 7:00PM without a balance of $295.00 ($155.00 half day), either in cash or a PayPal fired off from your computer. Please don't make us wobble around town looking for an ATM at 9:00PM.

THE HENCEFORTH AND FORTHWITH
I am a consultant. You are paying for my knowledge. If I pick up a tool, it is to hand it to you. I could not and cannot should not and shall not accept liability for any of the work performed on your vehicle nor any incidental consequential coincidental consequent incident outsident accident coincident either presequent or subsequent to our visit.
Note that we interact with chemicals and materials "known to the state of California to cause cancer and hideous birth defects".

IN CONCLUSION
Please PM me with your:
a) List of Concerns from most-important to least important,
b) a run down of your skills or lack thereof,
c) a brief description of our work environment,
d) what your dreams are for your Volkswagen, is it a weekend putterer or a nationwide road warrior?

We shall all more fervently pray for less attrition of these fine vehicles in the coming years.
Colin

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