Itinerant Air-Cooled

The subject of great hacks (unconventional, not-by-the-book repairs undertaken on the road to get you rolling again) has come up on this thread:

http://itinerant-air-cooled.com/viewtop ... 345#120345

But I thought it would be worth having a forum of its own. I bet there are a lot of great stories out there. To get the ball rolling, here's my contribution:

I got stuck off the road one time. Arriving late at a hang glider fly-in near Lake McClure, I took the wrong turnoff and found myself getting mired down in loose gravel. Trying to extricate myself, I succeeded only in skidding the bus over to one side of the road, crashing into a tree and destroying the accessory air scoop on that side, which also happened to be the scoop that fed air to the external oil cooler. The scoop, made of a hard plastic that had been exposed to the sun for years, had shattered completely.

The next morning, I got some help and had the bus towed back to the road, but I didn’t want to drive much further until the scoop was replaced; I feared that the cooler really needed that blast of cooling air to function, and if the cooler couldn’t function, the engine would overheat, causing more grief than I was willing to pay for. So I thought, well, what can I do? I do have some duct tape, and a hunting knife, and there’s this nearly empty can of Coleman fuel. So I fashioned a scoop out of the can and taped it to the bus. It wasn’t pretty, but it got me down the hill and back to Salinas, where I replaced it with new one, which I fashioned from a cat's litter box (a new one, not a used one, I might add).

Yeah like I'm really going to open THAT skeleton filled closet.

4 words..

Colin
Diet
Coke
Can

IFBwax wrote:4 words..

Colin
Diet
Coke
Can

For those who didn't know the background of this, go to:

http://itinerant-air-cooled.com/viewtop ... =diet+coke

Truly a masterful hack.

Can't remember offhand if it was the Blair Which or Blair Which II thread of Colin's where he became ColinScissorhands while working on Phred's innerds...It would have been hard to believe had I not seen it with my own eyes, but this is Colin we are talking about. He can be amazing.

Had a 71 campmobile back in college. The fuel shut off solenoid vibrated out on a trip back to school from home. Needless to say, it left a nice void/vaccuum leak, car wouldn't idle, and I couldn't find the part. This was pre internet days (back then modems were funky devises that you set the receiver from an analog phone into), and it was my only ride. Found a nice twig that was just the right size and jammed it in there... held for the month it took to get the part.

1987? I bought a 1978 BMW 320i right off a fully irritated guy in the parking lot at AutoZone. Car wouldn't start. He was gonzo enraged. "I hate this !$#*^%@@&!! piece of crap."

I came back in 30 minutes with cash, he got a ride home in a 4 cylinder Firebird (I held my vomit reflex at bay). Once he was gone, I PUT THE ROTOR ON CORRECTLY, and drove this lovely 320i home to get a friend to come pick up my car at AutoZone.

One week later, lovely 320i blew its coolant on I-5 outside of San Diego.
I ended up at a country club's parking lot (parked diagonally across a couple of spaces of course). I had green coolant spatters on my tank top and my unfortunate penchant for cut-off jean shorts was in full blossom back then too, as I entered the country club and went straight to the bar. "I need a champagne bottle foil wrap an a couple of gallons of water." They were all too happy to oblige and hustle me out of there.

The coolant hose neck had shorn off the plastic radiator tank. Champagne wrap, RTV, and one radiator hose clamp and the thing was holding water. But I did not trust it to hold under radiator cap pressure. So I drove it in traffic, on a hot afternoon, with no radiator cap, from Del Mar? to North Hills at the top of the San Fernando Valley with the heater on full blast and driving the shoulder every time traffic clotted to a stop. I single-handedly ruined the reputation of all BMW drivers that very day to be one of arrogant self-centered aggressive in-a-hurry butt heads who think laws were not made for them.
Colin

'86 Mercury Colony Park wagon, full with 6 kids on the way to grandma's for Easter. Wifes Ex had replaced a triple core radiator with a single core radiator. It was a warm Easter in '01 or '02, I think. Anyway the whole drain plug ass'y blew right out of the plastic expansion tank. All I had with me for tools was a buck knife. So, got a car load of wide eyed kids and a future ex wife that is just making things worse with a 'tude. There I am whittling a chunk a wood into a conical plug to wrap with a rag and drive into the hole. Meanwhile thinking I'm gonna hafta get everyone to pee into a bottle to have something to put in the radiator, all I wanna do is get off the highway and find a gas station. Along comes a trooper and he's real sympathetic and gives me time to pull this off. I remembered we had a couple cases of those TEENY koolade drinks in the tiny plastic bottles for all the kids that were gonna be at Grandma's so I filled the rad with koolade. Got off the highway and there is a Chevy dealer right at the foot of the ramp. They had all the water I wanted but no one in parts or service, couldn't even get in there as it was locked up tight. Asked for a ride to a hardware store, got one with a smile. Went in and bought every size rubber freeze plug that looked close to the right size, and asked if I could return all that didn't fit. Got an incredulous look from the guy, I guess because of the distance outside the box I was thinking, and a positive response. Chevy salesman brought me back to the dealership where the kids were now making an adventure out of it but the future ex was still miserable. Found a plug that fit, tightened it up as tight as I dared, and filled that puppy with water. Left the cap at the first click and hit the road after buying a couple of those 2 gallon spring water dispensers as a reserve. Made it to Grandma's about an hour later than expected, as far as I know the hack repair lasted till she wore the car out. Do you think she was grateful that I saved the trip to Grandma's, or the expense of towing and repair? Nah she was just one of them there angry women. Her kids still come and visit with me, been divorced about 6 years now, they tell me I'm dead to her.
Gawd, I really don't miss that woman

vdubyah73 wrote:been divorced about 6 years now

Now that's a hack fix!

I had to dump beer into the windshield fluid reservoir before. Dusty with just enough rain to make it stick to the windshield on miles of dirt washboard road. It worked though. She said her dad was working on the car a few months later and couldn't figure out what the hell was in there.

Amskeptic wrote:1987? I bought a 1978 BMW 320i right off a fully irritated guy in the parking lot at AutoZone. Car wouldn't start. He was gonzo enraged. "I hate this !$#*^%@@&!! piece of crap."

I came back in 30 minutes with cash, he got a ride home in a 4 cylinder Firebird (I held my vomit reflex at bay). Once he was gone, I PUT THE ROTOR ON CORRECTLY, and drove this lovely 320i home to get a friend to come pick up my car at AutoZone.

One week later, lovely 320i blew its coolant on I-5 outside of San Diego.
I ended up at a country club's parking lot (parked diagonally across a couple of spaces of course). I had green coolant spatters on my tank top and my unfortunate penchant for cut-off jean shorts was in full blossom back then too, as I entered the country club and went straight to the bar. "I need a champagne bottle foil wrap an a couple of gallons of water." They were all too happy to oblige and hustle me out of there.

The coolant hose neck had shorn off the plastic radiator tank. Champagne wrap, RTV, and one radiator hose clamp and the thing was holding water. But I did not trust it to hold under radiator cap pressure. So I drove it in traffic, on a hot afternoon, with no radiator cap, from Del Mar? to North Hills at the top of the San Fernando Valley with the heater on full blast and driving the shoulder every time traffic clotted to a stop. I single-handedly ruined the reputation of all BMW drivers that very day to be one of arrogant self-centered aggressive in-a-hurry butt heads who think laws were not made for them.
Colin

what do you think of that era bimmer ? i walk past one every day thats been for sale for over a year...body looks fine..some crappy aftermarket wheels..'$500 ask for Zukari'...im guessing it doesnt pass smog..it looks like early 80's 4-banger...hmmm...

Summer 1992, Black Hills of South Dakota.
There was (as I came to find out later) a short somewhere in my 1970 Squareback that was causing it to run not so good. My buddies and I weren't as bright back then as we are now, so we just kept replacing electrical components. Rapid City wasn't swimming in T3 parts back in '92, so we bought a remanufactured Beetle generator and used two crushed beer cans to hold it on the stand kind of straight-like. It worked for about 100 miles, when I felt the belt give on I-90. Sudden surge of power. We drove the rest of the way home--nearly 450 miles--with no generator, and just replaced batteries as the FI became annoyed with them due to their dying juice.

dingo wrote:

Amskeptic wrote:1987? I bought a 1978 BMW 320i right off a fully irritated guy in the parking lot at AutoZone. Car wouldn't start. He was gonzo enraged. "I hate this !$#*^%@@&!! piece of crap."

I came back in 30 minutes with cash, he got a ride home in a 4 cylinder Firebird (I held my vomit reflex at bay). Once he was gone, I PUT THE ROTOR ON CORRECTLY, and drove this lovely 320i home to get a friend to come pick up my car at AutoZone.

One week later, lovely 320i blew its coolant on I-5 outside of San Diego.
I ended up at a country club's parking lot (parked diagonally across a couple of spaces of course). I had green coolant spatters on my tank top and my unfortunate penchant for cut-off jean shorts was in full blossom back then too, as I entered the country club and went straight to the bar. "I need a champagne bottle foil wrap an a couple of gallons of water." They were all too happy to oblige and hustle me out of there.

The coolant hose neck had shorn off the plastic radiator tank. Champagne wrap, RTV, and one radiator hose clamp and the thing was holding water. But I did not trust it to hold under radiator cap pressure. So I drove it in traffic, on a hot afternoon, with no radiator cap, from Del Mar? to North Hills at the top of the San Fernando Valley with the heater on full blast and driving the shoulder every time traffic clotted to a stop. I single-handedly ruined the reputation of all BMW drivers that very day to be one of arrogant self-centered aggressive in-a-hurry butt heads who think laws were not made for them.
Colin

what do you think of that era bimmer ? i walk past one every day thats been for sale for over a year...body looks fine..some crappy aftermarket wheels..'$500 ask for Zukari'...im guessing it doesnt pass smog..it looks like early 80's 4-banger...hmmm...

M10 four-banger is a stout engine (the root block of some serious racing engines). The 320 is a fun driver, though I still prefer my earlier 2002 for the outstanding visibility.
Colin

Ran low on oil with a '69 Impala wagon in the middle of nowhere Iowa at about 1:00 AM. The oil light was flickering and the dipstick don't say nothing.
Limped onto the shoulder across from a honky-tonk.
I kept an eye out for the pool cue squad while my crazy friend yanked a cresent wrench out of the back and proceeded to steal a quart of oil out of some cowboy's pickup.
Totally thought we would get our asses kicked.

Another time we were going to run the SCCA time trials in the parking-lot-converted course of the local Community College with a 1967 Fiat Spyder.
We were warming up the tires when, naturally, being a Fiat, the engine burst into flames.
The staff hied over with a couple fire extinguishers and put the car out and we got a great applause from the audience.
We took as bow and stop-and-goed toward town with no fan belt.
Fortunately, as we were near a college, it wasn't long before we found a pair of panty hose on the should of the highway.
That actually made a pretty good fan belt.

Update on my worst hack, the Winnie Texas gallery plug fiasco of 2002 at 435,000 miles..
It fell out and got chewed up by the flywheel as the oil gushed out and waited for me to react to the idiot light.
Here's the thing, I couldn't find a threaded plug or anything else, so eventually I decided I had to make the mashed plug work.
With a file, I scratched up the case and the plug and rustled up a batch of JB Weld. Applied goop, then plug, then more goop. Got a chisel and hammer and almost with tears in my eyes, I chiseled the case around the plug to sort of lock it in, then finished off with some more goop.

Replaced a piston and connecting rod bearings when I got home, but the gallery plug looked pretty OK, so I left it be.

Now you'd think when I tore the engine down in 2007 (at 484,000 miles?)at VWBusrepairman's to replace the camshaft gear, that I might address the gallery plug . . . but you'd be wrong.

Or this spring at 576,000 miles when I did the pilot bearing?



Ahhhh No.
Colin

Go JB Weld !!